Saturday, August 01, 2009
More Than a Friend: How to Turn Your Guy Friend Into a Committed Lover in 5 Easy Steps!
Relationship are about more than sex and romance - a good relationship also requires a degree of genuine respect and compatibility - you need to be friends.
So it stands to reason that a wonderful relationship could blossom with a man who is already your friend.
After all, you already have shared memories, have talked about your feelings both happy and sad, like the same sorts of food and movies, and have a similar sense of humor. Everything, in fact, that you could possibly want in a lover.
Most men will tell you that if you want to shift a relationship from being "just friends" to lovers, all you have to do is ask. But that is not really true.
If you have been friends with a man for a long time, he is probably stopped thinking of you as potential lover long before now - even if he had hopes for more when you first became friends.
But do not give up hope - there are things you can do to make your friend into a lover:
1. Remind him that you are an attractive woman.
He is probably told you over the years what he likes best about you - and you probably know him well enough to know what he finds appealing in the women he dates. So now it is time to highlight those features in yourself and make sure he notices that you're a flesh-and-blood, dateable woman.
You do not need to go overboard and change major things about yourself - but as friends, you have been comfortable knowing that head like you no matter how you dressed, without makeup, and even when your hair was a mess.
If you want to take this relationship to another level, however, you will need to step up your game.
2. Stop treating him like a girlfriend.
You talk to you friends about everything, don't you? You gossip, complain, discuss disgusting bodily functions and talk about the other people you find attractive. It is fun, but the first step to turning him from a friend into a lover is to start treating him less like a gal-pal and more like a man you would like to date!
Flirt a little with him, in a light, humorous way, and see how he responds. Even if the flirting seems to go over his head, on some level he will take note and start thinking about you differently himself.
3. Set the stage for romance.
Spice up your "just friends" outing by skipping Starbucks and heading out to the park for a picnic instead. Or ask him to join you for dinner at restaurant that just happens to have dim lighting and a romantic ambience. Getting him in dating frame of mind is as much about the setting as the way you talk to him.
4. Have a sexy attitude.
Let's face it - if he is your friend, he is probably seen you show interest in other men, and he has grown accustomed to be treated in a purely platonic fashion. Stop thinking of him as a pal and look at him with fresh eyes - how would you respond to him if he was someone you just met and found attractive?
When you change your attitude, you will also be changing hundreds of little things about the way you relate to him, from the look in your eyes to the way you use your voice. Again, he may not pick up on it consciously at first, but hell definitely get the message.
5. Use your body to send a message. Our body language is an ancient and powerful tool for attracting mates - use it to your advantage! Lean a little closer to him when he talks to you, sit a bit closer on the couch.
Here is a useful tip. One way of sending a subconscious signal that we like someone is to "mirror" their actions - taking sips from drinks at the same time, crossing our legs the same way.
Try it, and see what happens. And don't forget to use touch. Place a hand lightly on his forearm when he tells you a joke, brush a strand of hair out of his eyes, smooth a wrinkle out of his shirt.
He will notice the change!
Most men complain about being put in the "just friends" category by the women they know. So, who knows?
He may already have feelings for you, but never believed that you would be interested in being anything more. With a little thought, a change in attitude and a lot of body language, your friend will become your lover before you know it.
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