True Love On Demand Letter

Communication between partners often gets confusing, and there is a very good reason for this. Most of the time, the words we use have far less impact than the energy behind the words.

Therefore, what you say is often not what the other person hears. The energy behind a communication is determined by our INTENTION.

In much of the communication between partners, there are two different intentions that can motivate any given communication: we are often either intent upon controlling the other person, or intent upon learning about ourselves and our partner.

The difference in energy between these two intentions is what frequently creates the confusion in communication. For example, in one of my phone counseling sessions with Joshua, he complained about the fact that his wife, Joan, often gets upset with him over seemingly minor issues.

A recent conflict had occurred over a book she was reading. He had asked her why she was reading that particular book, and she had responded to him with irritation.

“Joshua,” I asked, “why were you asking her about the book?”

“I was just curious.”

“Go deeper,” I said. “Was there anything about the book that was threatening to you?”

“Well….yeah. It was a book about women and codependency.” “And what was threatening to you?” “I’m afraid of Joan pulling away from me.”

“So, which intent do you think was operating at that moment - the intent to control her or the intent to learn about yourself and her?”

“I guess to be honest, I have to say that I was wanting to control. When I think back on it, I think my tone of voice may have been blaming. Joan always tells me that she hates how much I try to control her, and I always think she is wrong about that. But I think I was trying to control her.”

“And she responded to your intent to control with irritation, which is what is happening frequently in your relationship, right?”

“Right. So what would I have said if I was open to learning?” “It’s not so much the words as it is the energy behind the words.

The energy behind the words, ‘Why are you reading that book?” is totally different when the intent is to control than when the intent is to learn. The same words can be said with a blaming, shaming edge, or with real caring and curiosity. It is your intent that determines the energy behind the words.

Joan was not responding to the words themselves, but to the blaming and shaming behind the words. This is what is causing the confusion for you regarding your communication with her. The exact same words can communicate two totally different things, depending upon the intent.

And the chances are that if you had not felt threatened by the book, you might not have even questioned her about why she was reading it.” “Yes, I can see where that is probably true. Okay, I got it. I’ve been trying to control her and that is what she is responding to, not to the words I’ve been using.” Joshua started to notice his intent.

Every time Joan got irritated or distant from him, he noticed that his intent was to control. It was a big challenge to shift out of trying to control her, since he had been doing this most of his life in all his relationships, but Joshua was very motivated to change. He knew that if he didn’t, he ran the risk of losing his marriage.

He started to focus on taking loving care of himself and his own feelings instead of trying to change Joan. As Joshua became more aware of his intent, he was able to consciously shift his intent from controlling to learning about taking care of himself.

As his intent shifted, the energy of his communications with Joan shifted, and their relationship greatly improved. Joshua was thrilled with the deeper understanding and intimacy that was growing between them.

Labels: boyfriend, clearly, girlfriend, intentions, understand

Any woman can attract a better quality man or inspire the man she has to give her more love, affection and romance, by learning the truth about over nurturing.

What is over nurturing? It is doing too much in a relationship. Giving too much. It is the reverse of how a relationship works best for a woman.

Giving is what men are supposed to do. Women are supposed to receive the love, affection and gifts that men give, and then give love and affection back to them.

Though many of us have caught onto this, it is challenging to stop doing what we have always done, what we have been told is the way to do things, and to fly in the face of the fallout we fear. So I am going to tackle one little issue – Nurturing.

Nurturing is masculine. If you want to get what he wants to give, stop nurturing your man.

Radical as this sounds, try it. Stop doing. Stop giving. Stop massaging your husband or boyfriend's feelings. Stop helping your date do the relationship thing and let him flounder until he figures it out.

He will.

This whole concept of nurturing is a dilemma for most of us. We think of mothering, nurturing, caring for our young as a feminine aspect of ourselves. It is not!

Nurturing and caring for others may be a female trait – Motherhood is female – but it is still about action! Nurturing is about doing. Giving. Your energy goes out of you and toward or into someone else. When you give, you are acting from a masculine energy place.

We are so accustomed to the idea of nurturing being feminine, we get confused. We think being loving to our men is nurturing them. Massaging their bodies, minds and spirits. There is nothing wrong with the idea of nurturing, it is the form our nurturing takes that causes so much difficulty.

We are all composed of masculine and feminine (yin and yang) energies. We move through them fluidly at our best, and are stuck in one or the other at our worst.

But most of us are stuck at one extreme or the other. We either give too much all the time and then find ourselves resentful all the time, or we go the other way and make ourselves emotionally unavailable to our dates, our husbands, our boyfriends, and every man we meet.

Too often, our nurturing energies are perceived by men as mothering. Our actions seem intrusive. We seem to be judging them and finding them coming up short, otherwise why would they need taking care of? On the other hand, they love attention.

To strike some sort of balance when we are all so mightily out of balance, I am asking you to pull back to zero. To at least imagine pulling back to zero. The baby steps you actually take may seem huge.

When you stop doing for your man what he does not need you to do, yet has grown accustomed to your doing, may resent your not doing, and will certainly find himself relieved that you have stopped doing, things may get messy before they get better. But they will get better.

This is all about over-functioning.

What does over-functioning and over-nurturing look like?

You come to the door the moment he gets home and ask him how his day went. You offer to massage his neck, his feet, his back because he looks so tired (even though you are just as tired.) Or you give your date directions to your house before he asks. And you invite him in and offer him something to eat or drink without even knowing what he has in mind for the evening. You offer to cook him a meal when he is barely taken you out to a decent restaurant.

You offer sex to your husband, without being asked, and even if you are not in the mood, because you figure you should. You ask him how he feels, and demonstrate concern for his feelings and moods.

This sounds nurturing, but it is not. It is mothering. Nurturing a grown-up is giving him what he wants, not what you think he needs. Nurturing a grown-up is not tolerating what you do not want. Not tolerating him treating himself badly or carelessly if it is damaging to you or his relationship with you, this means smoking, eating badly, not working, never leaving the house.

And you do it not by telling him what he needs to do and helping him do it, but by telling him how angry it makes you feel when it’s happening. Or telling him how good it feels when he does something that makes you happy. Let him figure out how to take responsibility for making you and the relationship happy – on his end of it.

This is feminine energy, the expression of honest-to-goodness feelings. All the care-taking and fixing and doing and massaging and concern is masculine energy in action, and it will get you nowhere near what you want.

Try it the feminine way. Stop nurturing a grown-up man, and start expressing your feelings moment by moment. The first time is scary – but then, you will see; you will wonder how you ever loved any other way.

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"Get Your TRUE LOVE on Demand! Finding your love should be effortless if you use the lessons we are revealing in HERE! Restricted materials that are hard to come by, if you are trying to attract a man or a woman, THIS is for YOU!"

"Is your lover the one for you? Find out using our breakthrough materials HERE!"

"How to Win A Lover Back! (Get your FREE Video tutorial valued more than US$67, helps one of my male reader gets his girl back!"

"Know What Men Want From You! (Get inside your boyfriends or husband's mind and know instantly what they want in their relationship and life today!)"

"How to Attract Women! (Know how to push BOTH her emotional and physical HOT buttons and GROW her love for you instantly. Know what women want! RARE knowledge!!!)"

"Attract A True Love Secrets! (Use the strategies HERE if all you want is to find, attract and KEEP your Mr or Mrs Right!!!)"

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Labels: affection, boyfriend, husband, romance

Oftentimes we, as women, leave our needs unexpressed and wait for our husbands to just guess what to do. Many men honestly don’t know how to be romantic. And, when they do get up the courage to attempt romance, their efforts may not be expressed in a way that we appreciate or even recognize as romance.

Look how silly this sounds. If your son was attempting algebra and didn’t understand it, you wouldn’t cry because he didn’t love you. As a mom, we’d sit down, and go over it again and again, for as long as it took until he understood.

Yet, we expect our husbands to know something that they’ve never been taught. Instead of leaving your man to struggle, show him how to romance you. How will he know what to do if you don’t show him? So, how can you teach him how to romance you?

1. Be romantic yourself.

If you show him that you value him and love him on a regular basis, instead of expecting him to be the romantic one, he’ll be more receptive to trying it himself. The old saying “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” definitely applies. Yelling and crying because he isn’t romantic isn’t exactly going to put him in the lovey mood.

2. Tell him what you like.

Do you enjoy expensive gifts or would you rather have him make something for you? Would you like him to go on walks with you? Give you cut flowers or live plants? Make a list of every birthday, anniversary and holiday and include ideas for things he can buy or do for you. Set him up to succeed.

3. Learn what he likes.

The same thing stands for him. Know what makes him happy. Please don’t buy him an expensive gift if he’s the frugal type. He won’t like it. Don’t take him to a fancy French restaurant if he’s a Burger kind of guy. It’s ok to take him there for your birthday, but don’t take him there for his birthday.

If he loves sports, then go to them with him. Please initiate romance. So often, women just get more and more resentful that they aren’t feeling romanced and their man has no clue what to do to fix it.

There really should be a required romance course before you can get your marriage license. At least that way, men would, at some point in time, learn how to be romantic. Until then, it’s our job to show him just what we want and need to feel special.

Now go Romance Your Man!

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"How to Save Your Marriage and Stops ALL the Cheating! (FREE Videos, reports and templates for YOU (Value >$297!!!)" To get the FULL version of the program, go here!

"Get Your TRUE LOVE on Demand! Finding your love should be effortless if you use the lessons we are revealing in HERE! Restricted materials that are hard to come by, if you are trying to attract a man or a woman, THIS is for YOU!"

"Is your lover the one for you? Find out using our breakthrough materials HERE!"

"How to Win A Lover Back! (Get your FREE Video tutorial valued more than US$67, helps one of my male reader gets his girl back!"

"Know What Men Want From You! (Get inside your boyfriends or husband's mind and know instantly what they want in their relationship and life today!)"

"How to Attract Women! (Know how to push BOTH her emotional and physical HOT buttons and GROW her love for you instantly. Know what women want! RARE knowledge!!!)"

"Attract A True Love Secrets! (Use the strategies HERE if all you want is to find, attract and KEEP your Mr or Mrs Right!!!)"

FREE Rare Book "Message Of A Master" has changed thousands of lives from all the world over! Get your copy free today!

Labels: boyfriend, relationship, romance, spouse, Woman