Monday, September 04, 2006


How to Work Out which Social Crowd You Will Belong to After Marriage

Are you from the same or different social crowds? What crowd will you go with after your marriage?

If both of you are from the same social crowd, you should have little difficulty at this point after your marriage. You may just keep going around with the same crowd, or the married set which has come mainly out of the old crowd. If you move to another city where neither of you has friends, your problem can be relatively simple. Just establish your­selves as a couple with some crowd you both like. Problems arise when each has been running around with a different crowd to which they have become attached, and after mar­riage they remain in the same town.

For example, consider Jim and Mary. Mary's crowd is de­cidedly the "sporty" type. They swim, sail, play consider­able tennis and golf. Their conversations center about horse-racing, ball games, and tournaments. Jim's group is more the "artistic-intellectual" type. They are interested in novels, plays, paintings, and discuss international and social prob­lems with considerable zeal. We may well ask why Jim and Mary became interested in each other in the first place. Perhaps each wanted somewhat more variety than he was getting. In any case, here they are, about to marry. They will continue to live in the same town. With which crowd shall they establish their common social life? Perhaps the best way to answer this question is to ask another.

What will make the choice of a social crowd important or unimportant?
The seriousness of this problem will depend largely upon such factors as the following:

If each member of the couple comes from a group whose standards conflict with those of the other group, the problem of social adjustment may prove to be really difficult. It is important that the couple should know the kinds of difficulties which they are likely to run up against, and to have at least temporary policies which they have agreed upon in advance, until more permanent ones can be worked out.

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