Friday, April 07, 2006
When Is It A Good Idea To Bring Back A Lover?
Discover the “REAL TRUTH” about Your Lost Love! This will be the theme of our discussion today. Answer the Question Is Your Relationship is Worth it or Not with this Quick Primer on Whether You Should Let Your Lover Stay or Go!
There are many articles about how to get back a lover that you have lost. What is often a lot less common are articles that ask the question, when is it a good idea to bring back a lost love?
Now if you are in the situation where you are trying to get your lover back you are probably thinking that there couldn't possibly be any reason as to why you wouldn't want them back. However this article is designed to help you see the big picture and find out if the partner you have lost is your highest and best, love by design relationship.
In our books "The Ultimate Love by Design" ( www.LoveByDesignBook.com) and True Love on Demand (www.TrueLoveOnDemand.com) we have the belief system that it is an abundant world, there is a highest and best partner out there for everyone at any stage of your life. We do not believe that trying to fit a square peg into a round hole is necessary. So how after you have broken up or lost your lover can you tell if they are still the one for you?
The following are some tips to think about as you prepare to get them back:
1) Are you compatible?
Do you and your partner have enough compatibility in common to have a strong relationship foundation? For example do you have the same values, visions and lifestyle in common?
Often people are so physically attracted or so in love with their partner they have a tendency to ignore the fact that there is constant power struggles in their relationship. Often they use the excuse that there is just a lot of passion in the relationship and that is why you argue or are frustrated all the time.
On the opposite end of the scale but just as important are you physically attracted to your partner? Often couples have so many other areas in common they ignore the fact that they are not attracted to each other but use the excuse that they have so many things in common that the attraction and passion will grow over time.
2) Do you and your partner have Relationship Mastery Skills?
Do the two of you know how to relate to each other? If you need to communicate do you know how to communicate and really hear and understand each other? Do you know how to handle conflict? Do you know how to negotiate if needed? Most importantly, if both of you need to brush up or learn mastery skills, are both of you open and willing to learn?
3) Are both of you available?
Availability can mean many things. Do you have enough time for each other? Are you emotionally and empathetically open to each other? Geographically available? (I.e. do you live on the opposite side of the world to each other?) If you and your partner are not available in any of these areas, are both of you willing to make a change in order to be available?
This is especially true if one of the reasons you broke up in the first place is because of availability.
4) Is your partner toxic or deficient?
Toxic means that your partner brings something into your relationship that you do not want. It can be anything that hurts you whether that is mentally, physically or emotionally.
For example if your partner is verbally or physically abusive or is negative all the time. Deficient is were your partner doesn't give you something that you want in a relationship, for example being emotionally shutdown or doesn't understand your needs or chooses not to give you what you want in the way you want it.
If you and your partner get back together, will both of you be able to acknowledge your toxicities or deficiencies and are both of you willing to work together be able to get both of your needs met?
5) Do you believe that it is an abundant world?
Are you holding on to your last relationship for any of the following reasons?
· Your partner is unique and you will never find anyone like them ever again?
· Your partner makes you feel complete and without them you cannot be a whole person.
· You have a long history together and lots of memories.
· You are afraid of what your families, friends and co-workers would say if you don't get back together
· You do not have a justified reason for not being together
· You are in love and attracted to that person and isn't that all that is important in a relationship?
· Your partner will not be able to survive without you
· You do not like to fail and to loose this person means failure
· You have children together
· It takes too much energy to go out and find someone new all over again
· I'm not pretty enough, strong enough, young enough etc. to find someone new
If you have the belief system that it is an abundant world, then all of the objections above are not issues anymore. There are many people out there who are your highest and best, you will have plenty of energy to meet them and in fact it will be an easy and effortless process, supported by everyone around you and your partner will love you unconditionally just the way you are.
This article is the equivalent to a military boot camp, the good news is that if you were able to come out of it, honestly answering the questions above, then one of two things will have happened. You will either have come to the conclusion that your lost love is still definitely the one for you, and if not you are now aware that you can find your highest and best relationship because it is an abundant world!
If you want more information on our books, products and services check out our Relationship Mastery Website at www.RelationshipMasteryOnline.com
..........................................................
Discover how you can easily get your true love on demand by learning the proprietary information in this Ebook! Used and tested with success by thousands of people over the last 15 years, we are going to come clean and reveal the "formula" in this tell-all manual! You can STOP failing in your relationship right from the start!
There are many articles about how to get back a lover that you have lost. What is often a lot less common are articles that ask the question, when is it a good idea to bring back a lost love?
Now if you are in the situation where you are trying to get your lover back you are probably thinking that there couldn't possibly be any reason as to why you wouldn't want them back. However this article is designed to help you see the big picture and find out if the partner you have lost is your highest and best, love by design relationship.
In our books "The Ultimate Love by Design" ( www.LoveByDesignBook.com) and True Love on Demand (www.TrueLoveOnDemand.com) we have the belief system that it is an abundant world, there is a highest and best partner out there for everyone at any stage of your life. We do not believe that trying to fit a square peg into a round hole is necessary. So how after you have broken up or lost your lover can you tell if they are still the one for you?
The following are some tips to think about as you prepare to get them back:
1) Are you compatible?
Do you and your partner have enough compatibility in common to have a strong relationship foundation? For example do you have the same values, visions and lifestyle in common?
Often people are so physically attracted or so in love with their partner they have a tendency to ignore the fact that there is constant power struggles in their relationship. Often they use the excuse that there is just a lot of passion in the relationship and that is why you argue or are frustrated all the time.
On the opposite end of the scale but just as important are you physically attracted to your partner? Often couples have so many other areas in common they ignore the fact that they are not attracted to each other but use the excuse that they have so many things in common that the attraction and passion will grow over time.
2) Do you and your partner have Relationship Mastery Skills?
Do the two of you know how to relate to each other? If you need to communicate do you know how to communicate and really hear and understand each other? Do you know how to handle conflict? Do you know how to negotiate if needed? Most importantly, if both of you need to brush up or learn mastery skills, are both of you open and willing to learn?
3) Are both of you available?
Availability can mean many things. Do you have enough time for each other? Are you emotionally and empathetically open to each other? Geographically available? (I.e. do you live on the opposite side of the world to each other?) If you and your partner are not available in any of these areas, are both of you willing to make a change in order to be available?
This is especially true if one of the reasons you broke up in the first place is because of availability.
4) Is your partner toxic or deficient?
Toxic means that your partner brings something into your relationship that you do not want. It can be anything that hurts you whether that is mentally, physically or emotionally.
For example if your partner is verbally or physically abusive or is negative all the time. Deficient is were your partner doesn't give you something that you want in a relationship, for example being emotionally shutdown or doesn't understand your needs or chooses not to give you what you want in the way you want it.
If you and your partner get back together, will both of you be able to acknowledge your toxicities or deficiencies and are both of you willing to work together be able to get both of your needs met?
5) Do you believe that it is an abundant world?
Are you holding on to your last relationship for any of the following reasons?
· Your partner is unique and you will never find anyone like them ever again?
· Your partner makes you feel complete and without them you cannot be a whole person.
· You have a long history together and lots of memories.
· You are afraid of what your families, friends and co-workers would say if you don't get back together
· You do not have a justified reason for not being together
· You are in love and attracted to that person and isn't that all that is important in a relationship?
· Your partner will not be able to survive without you
· You do not like to fail and to loose this person means failure
· You have children together
· It takes too much energy to go out and find someone new all over again
· I'm not pretty enough, strong enough, young enough etc. to find someone new
If you have the belief system that it is an abundant world, then all of the objections above are not issues anymore. There are many people out there who are your highest and best, you will have plenty of energy to meet them and in fact it will be an easy and effortless process, supported by everyone around you and your partner will love you unconditionally just the way you are.
This article is the equivalent to a military boot camp, the good news is that if you were able to come out of it, honestly answering the questions above, then one of two things will have happened. You will either have come to the conclusion that your lost love is still definitely the one for you, and if not you are now aware that you can find your highest and best relationship because it is an abundant world!
If you want more information on our books, products and services check out our Relationship Mastery Website at www.RelationshipMasteryOnline.com
..........................................................
Discover how you can easily get your true love on demand by learning the proprietary information in this Ebook! Used and tested with success by thousands of people over the last 15 years, we are going to come clean and reveal the "formula" in this tell-all manual! You can STOP failing in your relationship right from the start!
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